Rise and shine
James Fryer says it’s time to wake up, sleepy head, with a guide to gadgets that will ensure you get up on the wrong side of the bed.
Nobby
www.boysstuff.co.uk
If you don’t fancy a chat first thing in the morning, the one-eyed Nobby alarm clock will probably make you really cranky. You can tell him what time you want him to wake you up and when that hour arrives, he’ll merrily chat away. Or you can ask him to sing you a song. Surely his ditties can’t be any worse than the average Dubai radio advert, can they?
Sun alarm
www.soleilsunalarm.com
It’s not suitable for vampires, but well worth considering if you’re fed up with early morning bleeping or that white noise found somewhere between Dubai92 and hell on the FM scale. The Soleil sun alarm works by gradually increasing the intensity of its special built-in light, supposedly simulating a natural sunrise as your body stirs instinctively, as if waking with the light of the sun. The powerful 300 Watts of light should be enough to do the trick. But hold on a minute, isn’t that why you bought curtains in the first place?
Sonic alarm
www.iwoot.com
If you’re fed up wasting time every morning trying to wake up loved ones for school or work, here’s a solution that’ll beat promises of a looming cup of tea or even throwing cold water their way. Simply pull the pin and toss the alarm into the room (preferably somewhere difficult to reach; on top of the wardrobe or behind a cabinet are particularly effective) and after 20 seconds an ear-piercing loud noise will ring out. But the great part is, it wont stop until the pin is put back in it, which can of course be found just next to the shower or at the breakfast table.
Clocky
www.clocky.net
Designed by a soon-to-be-minted student at the world-renowned Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the cute oversized-Weetabix-style Clocky was conceived to combat the problem of heavy sleepers being tempted to hit the snooze button and ending up running late. Each morning the two-wheeled Clocky will roll off the bedside table and find somewhere to hide. Once it’s found and the snooze button is pressed, it will zoom off to a new location, forcing the sleeper to hunt it down before the alarm can be turned off again. Genius.
Puzzle alarm clock
www.bimbambanana.com
If you’re anything like us, there are only a few basic human functions you’re capable of exercising after waking from a deep slumber – flicking the kettle switch, turning on the shower and picking up the newspaper – and that’s on a good day. So the thought of having to complete (albeit simple) puzzles before the dreaded morning alarm bells cease, fills us with the kind of fear usually reserved for two-hour-long traffic jams on Sheikh Zayed Road. But, as you’re scampering around on the floor trying to find the puzzle pieces that have been fired up into the air, at least you’re in with a chance of finding that long lost sock.
Kuku clock
www.latestbuy.com.au
Kuku by name and cuckoo by nature, this bird-like alarm clock harks back to farm days by chirping and laying eggs at sunrise. The only way to stop it making a racket is to return all five eggs which have been ‘laid’ all over your bedroom floor. It sounds like fun for all of one morning, but you’ll be dying to make Coq au vin out of Kuku and a nice omelette from those darn eggs before long. Except a plastic breakfast might not be the best way to start the day.